How much screen time is too much? 20 Real Moms Weigh In
When I was in school, my love of technology and fascination for all things screens was tempered by a 30-second dial-up tone and microscopic resolution. I’m sure many of you 80’s and 90’s babies can relate.
Between faster tech, more addictive social media (remember MySpace? Haha), and of course, the pandemic, screen time is more a part of our lives than ever. It’s left to us parents to walk the narrow road between teaching our kids the tech skills they’ll need for life and protecting them from becoming the first wave of the zombie apocalypse.
I’ve asked 20 real-live moms how much screen time is too much and the answers vary from unrestricted access to completely screen-free. Whatever idea you have that you’re seeking validation for, I’m sure you can find it here :).
There are Times for Screens
Earl-Sarah – Screen time is seasonal
“In my opinion, screen time should be limited for everyone. I am okay with my kids playing educational games regularly… and watching shows that are full of biblical references, such as Pilgrims Progress and Veggie Tales. It also depends on the seasons. We live on a small homestead and when the weather is nice, it is time to be outside tending to animals and the garden, as well as getting plenty of playtime in. When it’s the middle of winter and we have a blizzard going on then I may let them have screens for a majority of the day, although I am trying to integrate more hands-on learning and play during those times as well.”
Erica – Screen free most days
“We are screen-free most days. Usually we’ll do a family movie on the weekend. Sometimes I’ll let them watch a show if they do a big cleanup job and I need some time alone with the hubby. 
When we go on plane rides, it’s all screens all the time though! Anything to make it more bearable with 4 little boys!”
Screens have Pros and Cons
Nes – It’s OK to be flexible
“There are sunny weeks when we are screen-free and then there are the rainy, recovering from sickness, need another reminder for how to do a problem weeks. It’s ok to be flexible, use it as a tool, be a good steward of it, and keep yourself up to date on the dangers to avoid pitfalls.”
Erica – There are pros and cons to everything
“We have a lot of rules in my home regarding screens. Phones… are not allowed for any of our kids. We watch movies and TV shows. During school days I let my kids play games at the end of the day. We use more screens when we have sickness or recovering from a big day out. We don’t allow games where you can communicate with other people, and we use ad blockers. I have found over the past decade it is harder to have no screen time as the kids get older. It helps to think about why people who work in tech do not let their kids have access to it easily 
. There are pros and cons for everything!”
Screen Time Should be Structured
Jamie – Screen free on weekdays
“We are screen-free on weekdays! A huge difference in attitudes. They are less bored and my 8-year-old and 4-year-old spend hours together in their imagination. We bring the TV out for the weekends and they usually watch it in the morning and then it’s completely forgotten about for the rest of the weekend and then I put it away again. TV comes out when we are sick and it makes things easier because they feel occupied and not bored with what’s on.”
Tori – Structured screen time
“We allow screen time daily, but it’s very structured. My kids are able to have screen time every weekday IF they completed their schoolwork without grumbling and complaining, they did an hour of quiet/creative solo play after lunch, and they have played outside for an hour. We usually allow 2 hours a day on weekends, as my husband likes to watch a movie or play video games with the kids. The only caveat: When Mommy has a stomach virus, they get screen time all day long. 
”
Klodi – Priorities first
“First, they have priorities like school, homework, reading, and practicing their instruments. In their free time, they can use technology for a while. They have parental control whenever they use our phones, tablets, or computer.”
Give Yourself Grace
Rachel – Our screen use doesn’t match my ideals. But neither does our diet.
“We use screens. I don’t have a lot of strict rules on it. I work and have four kiddos and when they are at the babysitters, they get a decent bit. I always wanted to have my kids be mostly outside and off screens. But it’s very hard to find a babysitter I trust. My husband also works a lot and long hours and I’ve used screen time to help us learn and some weeks I let them have more video games and movies than I’d like. Our screen use doesn’t match my ideals. But neither does our diet. We do the best we can sometimes.”
Screens are Dangerous
Kayla – Screens are dangerous when they replace play
“I believe screens are dangerous when they replace imaginary play and time spent outdoors. I closely monitor (and limit) the things my kids can watch on screens.”
Jodi – Screens are addictive
“I think the definitive issue of our day is addiction. Our culture struggles in so many areas with addiction anyway. Screens provide that for our kids. Addiction taken to an extreme leads to slavery and not living your own life, not thinking your own thoughts. Charlotte Mason believed that ‘life should be all living.’ With that said, I think her view would be that technology serves us, not the other way around. I can imagine her using it for playing composer’s music, hymns, folk songs, potentially watching Shakespeare plays, listening to audiobooks or natural science or geography clips, making the subjects come alive.”
Screen Free and No Regrets
Kim – We never have TV or video games in our home
“My husband and l decided before we got married that we would never have TV or video games in our home. We raised 3 kids without both. The years were filled with so much that was good, it would take pages to write it all. We will never regret this decision. Not having a TV has been one of our top three best decisions…the other was homeschooling and top of the list is Following Jesus.”
Rachel – I want to hold off on screens as long as possible
“I saw something early on that made me want to hold off on screens as long as possible even before I had kids. And I can see how addictive screens are for me, and I’m a fully-formed adult, so I don’t see any benefit to introducing screens to undeveloped brains. I’ve been very happy with that decision. My kids are active and happy and enjoy playing with their toys and playing and learning with us 
”
Creativity Blossoms without Screens
Kaylyn – We’re mostly screen-free
“Our goal is to… show our kids that the world God made has plenty of activities and relationships to fill their time rather than sitting and staring mindlessly at a TV. Attitudes are SO much better when we’re consistent with minimal screen time. The more we use…the more they want and whine. Instead of sitting and staring, we cuddled, built a relationship, and learned—together.”
Christy – We cut our screen time… then the beauty emerged.
“We cut our screen time down to one movie a week and the Packers during football season. There were three days of fussing and whining and then the beauty emerged. They created whole worlds from their imaginations, worlds which eventually they turned into novels. Instead of vegging, they learned instruments and art and life skills and baking and played for hours without any adults accidentally stepping on an invisible part of their worlds.”
Audrey – Their imaginations blossom when we cut out screens
“I’ve noticed their imaginations blossoming in the most beautiful way since we’ve cut out screens completely. I don’t want to totally eliminate screens in our household because they’ll likely need those skills when they enter the workforce one day. But keeping screen time limited and monitored closely is key!”
Screens are to be Avoided
Danielle – Video games are a slippery slope
“I have noticed that the less screen time they have, the less screen time they request. It’s almost as if they forget about it once they have filled their days with play and imagination, or like they are too “busy” for screen time. We don’t own video games; I’ve seen those become too slippery of a slope.”
Amber – We avoid it if there is a non-screen option
“It can be used as a teaching tool after age 3, but we avoid it if there is an equal quality non-screen option. For us, that means typing, Spanish, and handicrafts that we don’t know how to do are taught using screens. I think that the overstimulation is probably the worst part of screen time for our kids.”
Screens are Educational
Marie – They learn from video games
“I feel like we need more rules, but at the same time we all love video games and of course they learn from them as well as anything else. Most video games are engaging and fun and there are studies done about violent shooting-type games being beneficial to learning. I learned this in an unschooling group… it is very interesting to me because I want learning to be natural.”
Kristin – They are independently responsible with their TV time
“I am more lenient on TV time and have noticed that they are more independently responsible with their TV time (cutting it off when they are ready for bed without me asking, viewing appropriate or parent-approved content) vs. the more restricted devices. During the summer, I do restrict TV time more because I don’t want them sitting in front of it all day and not exercising their minds and bodies.”
Beth – Screen time is not a hill to die on
“I’m not happy with how much we use it but there are limits. Online games and YouTube channels are something the kids enjoy, and their friends exposed them to it. Screen time is not a hill to die on. I don’t want my kids to resent me or grow up viewing me as out of touch. That’s not going to help their respect for my opinion. I want my kids to understand me to be a reasonable mom and to learn all things in moderation. We are aware of what they do online and only parent-approved shows are watched. A lot of it is twaddle, but it’s a compromise. Screen time can be used beneficially. Familiarity with how technology works is part of the 21st century.”
Conclusion
So there you have it, clear as mud! Wherever you fall on this spectrum, I hope you’ll have the confidence to research, think, pray, and at the end of the day go with what you feel is right for your family.
If you understand the importance of kids learning tech skills like coding, but don’t want to be strongarmed into relying on “educational” video games to teach it, grab a free sample of our screen-free coding curriculum.